Lazy Days

Work and Fun

Omg, I started working like two days ago on Tuesday at this kinda small but cosy architecture firm, and I swear to god I have never clicked the mouse so so many times in one day, and with so much fury.

And I just a new ACER laptop and I am blogging from it.

Be back soon.

[Music] Razorlight - Razorlight [2006]

Artist: Razorlight
Album: Razorlight
Release Date: 17 July 2006
Length: 34:57
Label: Mercury, Vertigo
Producer(s): Razorlight



After two years since their amazing debut Up All Night, apparently Razorlight have been sleeping all night because their sophomore album was nothing but disappointing. I don't understand what is it with all the hype with brits these days, first there is Arctic Monkeys then come Razorlight dubbed as the best brit punk post the Libertines, and geez, I almost buy into it because to be honest, I was actually quite hyped when I listened to single In The Morning before the album was released.

See, the fuss with Razorlight is that with the release of their new album, it is supposed to mark another milestone for the British Invasion 2, since Razorlight was one of the first few bands that jumped in the wave, after the Libertines, and followed closely by Bloc Party, Kaiser Chiefs, Hard-Fi and the recent Arctic Monkes. If their album is succesfully avoided the sophomore syndrom, it would raise the bar very high for Bloc Party which is speculated to release their second album within this year. But obviously Razorlight failed miserably and so all the spotlights now is on Bloc Party.

But then when I finally got the full album, I was in anger, please, they want to be Oasis, they want to be The Verve, they want to be U2, but the final product sounds like no-one, not even Razorlight themselves. The album loses many of Razorlight's trademark or essential sounds; rough, energetic and catchy. This album is mellower and a tamer version Up All Night, and it made me wonder what they are trying to achieve with this album, sometimes it sounded like they were tired of being in the spotlight, tired of touring but then they're only in the business for 2 years, they're to young to complain about shits like this.

No, this album is not going to save Britpop this year.

Listen to: In The Morning, America, Back To The Start, Los Angeles Witz

Beaker's Verdict: B

End Note

Almost 5 years in Auckland, went through a year in high school then three years in uni and graduate with a useless degree, then spent another few more months job hunting, I was just hoping, just genuinely hoping that I can make it out there in the real world on my wits alone because, up to this point of my life, no one in my family or friends that cared about me so much, had the heart to tell me that the real world isn't made of the sweet perfect inpropable dreams and hopes our society propagates, or what our school teachers told us to write a 500 words essays about. And so what if you've got the heart, the talent and the will so big that speads out like the sea; it's only going to get you this far. It just doesn't work that way. Out there, it's all about cash money and some hot connections. It's the only way you can make it out there, trust me, this is sincerely and truthfully from the department of been-there-done-that.

So with much dilemma and some inevitable constraints, I had to make this decision; I am moving back home to Miri for a very brief period so I can pull my shit together, get a decent job and when the right time comes around, and with some luck, I will be on my way setting of to another destination and hopefully I will be back to Auckland to catch up with the guys. As much as it hurts to leave, I guess it's for the best, afterall that have happened, I really could use the change of scene to imbue some sense back to my head, although it's not literally a change of scene because I am going back home - it's almost like getting stuck in square one, but hey, it's better than nothing, and with much faith, I hope it will only be a brief hiatus before I decide where I am going next.

* * * * *

Just to think about the notion that I am going out to the real world is making me feeling nausceous. It's just horrifying but exciting at the same time; like people said when you go out there, you have no room for error, and hell I am not even sure if I could exercise what I've learnt at school for starters. I'll just have to be prepared for what's coming ahead, but to hell I'm scared to death. But then I am thinking about making money and all that, it got me all excited again. It's really not like I want to make big money or shits like that, it's just that I want to have enough money so I could really just start taking control of my life. Forget it when people say money can't buy happiness, because money is everything when you don't have anything at all to begin with, and baby, money is like the window to an exciting life, money is EVERYTHING. No, I am definitely not a friggin Scrooge, I am just somebody who happened to come across situations that without money, everything is impossible.

The funny thing is that I used to have so many dreams; that someday I am so successful that I am going places designing buildings, that someday I have a house by the beach, or that maybe even someday I'll have an apartment at 5th Avenue in New York. I was so naive back then. When I first came to New Zealand, I was expecting nothing but hoping that I'll make it through uni, get a degree and get a job. Then when I started doing architecture, I was constantly questioning myself if I have what it takes to be an architect. I was unsure back then, I guess I still am but I knew, I knew it in the back of my head that I am doing the right thing because I realize I have found the one and the only thing that I could hold on to, something that I gave me a reason go wake up everyday with a meaning. But when your too engrossed with something, you become exhausted. I could've forced myself if I wanted to but that is not how I wanted it to be. I want to be able to enjoy it. Then there is the money problem that comes into question. I might be easy for some parents, but pulling of 40K a year for me to study overseas is too exorbitant for my parents, though I am truly grateful they put me through the first degree.

And now, I have nothing.

I've lost the only thing that I've been holding on so so tight for the past three years. Honestly, after everything that have happened, I can't afford to dream anymore, I felt like as if I've lost everything. Those things you call dreams, ambitions or whatever, they're overrated and it's going to end up crushing all over you. I agree they are beautiful, and I accept the fact that one needs to dream so they could have a place to escape from reality. I guess I still have dreams and ambitions, but I just subconsciously shoved them far away in the back of my head, scared that they would only lead me to lose the little that I still had, and they would only fail me even more.

I can't help it but being so despodent about myself and my life. Can't blame anyone though because this is a vicous world, and I am just getting to know it so I guess I am on the right track.

* * * * *

It all comes down to this my friend: I love this city enough to know that if I am going to keep loving it, I need to leave to get some credentials, job experience, learn a little bit more about life so that I could enjoy it in the future.

I have a million things I want to say to you guys but I couldn't find the words, and you guys probably would've heard it all before so I am just going to say thanks for everything, and thanks for being there. Don't know if you guys realize it, but you guys have been so so so awesome to me, and you guys have been the only catalyst that made my days NZ so much better and I really appreciate it with all my heart.

And now, to all my deareast friends in New Zealand, I bid my goodbye for now.

I hate to utter this word but I have to, for life is too short that it might just be the last, but I have faith that we will see each other again and I know when the time comes around, it is going to awesome.

It's just funny how things that don't work out, always worked itself out, whether we like it or not.

-Nigel