It was only meant to be.

I think my blog is a rather accurate indication of just how busy my life gets. Amidst my unbelievably hectic working schedule, I’m here blogging because when I say I’m back, I really mean I’m back. But to be fair, I just nailed the Shell’s renovation project and “Bintulu Waterfront shoplots” project – YAWN, so I think it’s safe for me to murmur a very soft sigh of relieve that it’s finally over. There, I just said the ill-fated word. It’s not like I haven’t learnt the fact that it’s never over, I might as well just chill while I can. Though, I know I’m about to piss people off. There’s still so much work ahead of me. By the way, I’m really trying to hard sell myself these days, because I’m thinking about taking a leap of faith. Ahem. I don’t anything know yet, but I just might. I think it’s probably about time.

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I think the shop-lots are just plain dumb and people are getting clever with the names these days – “Open malls”, “Outdoor Mall” , “Shopping Village”. How fucking lame is that. The thing is no matter how interesting people try to name these shop-lots, it’s not going to make the concept any more exciting than it already is. The problem I have with these shop-lots is that the planning itself is a waste of space. It creates too much useless in-between spaces that will inevitably turn into smelly back alleys in the long run and finally when the whole place eventually runs down it creates another slum block in the city. If anything, it just doesn’t provide an otherwise appealing shopping environment at all. “Shopping Village” apparently. Are you fucking kidding me?

I was on my routine surfing today and I came across a rather interesting piece of article - 17 Jobs That Are Guaranteed to Get You Laid . Apparently - Architects are on the top of the list. Now I really don’t know what to make of it, but I do love the idea that architects are sexy beings. Take that, other jobs chronic masturbators!

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I was given two fish tanks couple of weeks ago, and it’s still lying around the car porch. I’m yet to clean it – and it’s so dirty it’s shameful. Then I will have to fill it with water and start all over the new-tank-cycle process before I can put any fish in. Longer story short – it’s a long process, and I have no time for it. - It sucks.

I was thinking of just leaving the tank outside, so I don’t have to move anything inside the house just to accommodate the new tank. Too much work. Mom said if I were to place the tank on that particular spot I picked, I’d have to paint the wall first; otherwise, I’d have to move the tank again if we decided to paint it just right before Chinese New Year, which would suck even more because people get cranky during spring cleaning. And I’m not about to move the fucking tank anywhere once it’s up and running because moving a 4 feet tank takes some real muscles and I ain’t got that. So really, the only viable option I can think of is really just leave the tank outside at the car porch and move my fish there. The good thing about this is that I won’t have to worry about the fish splashing water all over the place when she throws a tantrum every now and then. But again, since I don’t live in a posh neighborhood, people here have the tendency to steal things – pets included so it’s not entirely that safe to have the tank outside. I can’t decide.

By the way, I’ve committed a sin so big - I could never look myself in the mirror again, I’m ashamed of myself. Yesterday after dinner, mom told me there are cakes in the fridge and asked if I wanted any. So I asked what kind of cake. And she went on and dropped the shameful bomb at me – that her girlfriends at work bought her those delicious cakes because it was her birthday the day before.

and I was like SHIT !!!

I guess there’s no point I bitch and moan about how sorry I am right now. I’ll make it up to her, and when I say I will, damn right I will.

In the mean time – I’m off to get laid.

The architect’s style.

Damn right I am.

I Haze U

I was going to be just a tad insightful tonight but I decided not to because the haze is so bad that my sight is compromised. So much for my attempt at making funnies. No. This has nothing to do with the haze, yuck, although I must say the air taste a little horrible these days. Yes, the haze is so dense it’s literally tangible and chocking up my lungs. It’s not exactly the kind of air I’d want to breathe all day. Oh, think about the people around me. They have been thinking exactly the same thing for years. Isn’t it great now that everyone’s a second hand smoker? People really should stop whining about those who smoke. But I digress.

I don’t get much work done these days. It’s funny because I’m literally swamped at work it’s driving me bonkers and yet I don’t get much done. When I say done, I meant getting things completed without having the hassle of following up at another time. Seriously, I do a lot, more than I ever had in my entire career. Like WHOA. But apparently, not enough to complete, and I am eminently depressed by it. It seemed like I’m engaging in some desultory tasks, one minute I’m doing this, just one step away from completing it, I get thrown another that requires immediate attention. I stopped, and I move on, then I get thrown another one, then some time during that, I’d have to go back and catch up with the earlier projects.

It’s confusing I know, and seriously, if one task takes at least a day to complete, three tasks would then require at least three days to complete, and that made me wonder just how many tomorrow can one have in one day because I get asked to do three different things in a day that is needed tomorrow. And if one would put a little effort in using common sense, they’d probably realize that it’s entirely impossible unless I have three tomorrows at a same time. Very interesting theory (Inner inner monologue). Some people really love to push it. That’s some world class stupid right there.

Oh, just forget everything. I’m one cranky bitch fighting off the mid-life crisis, and I’m only 25. Ever wonder why they call it premature?

Enough already.

Harder, Harder, Hard Times.

Hard times indeed.

I'm back again. Oh the irony.

I’ve done it too many times, I’ve had enough really. No, I meant the come back posts.

Isn't it sort of official that I have period every two or three months? I'd think so. I stopped blogging completely, in which normally I would just write something on draft every now and then, I was off every single IM's that I was on, I was off Facebook and Flickr, and I don't know why, I just did.

Just the other day, I was thinking about writing up a final piece, an exit statement that I'm finally shutting down this blog. I contemplated, and it was fascinating to me that I've been writing quite a significant amount of insignificant shit on and off for the past four years, so I've receded to the fact that indeed I do love blogging, very much, and that I should give it another shot, only because I know better that I’d get this itch to blog every now and then, when life gets a little too much. Hell to the no. Yes. I'm that sentimental. Go figure.

I've been doing a lot, at the same time felt incredibly insipid at achieving nothing. Yes, I was lost, not anymore, because I pretty much live in lost now. That's funny. I moved to a new office recently. Exciting, though secretly I was hoping that I moved to a new job instead. That would be heaven. No really, the new office ain’t that shabby at all, the place is nicely renovated, it's close to a shopping mall, and the idea of being able to just walk downstairs and grab a nice cup of coffee while enjoying my cigarette sounds just fine to me. Sadly, all this has nothing to do with work, I know. Isn't it so obvious now that work has been so dreadful that I'm practically inert to what is actually happening around me. I get orders, I get my job done. I can't remember exactly which part about architecture that I enjoyed so much to begin with. Gosh, I miss uni days.

Things seemed to have gone through a rapid change lately, so it seems, my life anyways. My best friend finally got the job and moved to KL a month ago, and that seemed to change how things would otherwise roll around here. Then, Bin moved to Kuching and is probably living happily ever after. I was sick most of the time in the last two months; I've been to the dentist, in which he decided I should get one of my molars crowned. Gosh, jealous yet? I got my molar crowned! I totally feel like a royalty now. It burned a hole in my pocket to get crowned, mind you. Shortly after that, my lower left eyelid got infected. My eyelid was swollen and the only way to fix that is to make a small incision to drain out the abscess. It was traumatizing and I'm trying very hard to forget that very incident looking at the tip of the needle approaching my eye while my head being held forcefully by the horrible old nurse to keep me from moving. All I can say is I never let the doctor finish his job because the pain was simply too overwhelming. And to my defense, it was done without any painkiller nor anesthesia. Thank god it's healing now, just a tiny little spot left, only visible to the narcissistic self, otherwise, it's barely noticeable. Eventually, I blame all mishaps on karma. No, it has nothing to do with me taking care of my health, it's all karma.

And so here it is, a clean slate, a fresh start - the blog and hopefully my miserable life.

No. Actually, I just got very lazy.