I'm Back

First update after one full month of living in hell,
here's something for starters,




Design is finally over, well not only design, basiclly i'm done for the semester so there are lot of thoughts that I wanted to put out here. here's my work for this semester








The thing is,I dont know what to do next year or the year after. I dont know if i am ready to work, maybe I am but stepping over the threshold always seemed kinda akward. As much as I wanted to finish all five years, I really kinda doubt that if I am able to do it. Perhaps, yeah maybe, if I have the will to hold on and keep going for two more years but it has kinda been a drag this semester (D6). And I definetly do not want to do it for the sake of doing it, which if that is the case, I wouldnt be able to produce any good work, plus it's BArch, which I am not ready to take the risk(grade wise). I dont know why, I didnt expect me,myself would ever lost the niche. Well its not to say that I lost interest in architecture it's just that Im burnt out already. People have been telling me I spent too much time in the studio, which I had to agree, but that's the way it works, for me though if I were to be productive.

Besides that, wow this has been a really eventful semester. Lets forget about the grief of design and workloads, the amount bitching that has been going in the studio was "wow-ly" unbeleieveable. Like I said, design's been a drag, other papers been crap, Id have to find some ways to escape from it. So I bitch and bitch and bitch about people. Thinking about it, there were so many things to bitch about, like who's slut and who's sluttier, those decietful, lowgrade architecture shenanigans, and of course, the king of the crops would be the mr. bitched-about- you know what I'm sayin. It's amazing how this group of people, who are meant to be in studio, working on design, spent hours bitching about other people. Yeah it's a fun thing to do. I dont know about other's but I bitch because I felt insecure, I guess we all are insecure in this superficial reality. Hence we bitch, so people would appear to be more pathetic than us. Maybe, but anyway keeping on track, to be honest, studio time has never been this good before. Maybe it's not just me huh, that's tired of doing design. Definetly not. People like Soo, James, Sajeev actually felt that way too. I guess it was because I have been doing this for 3 years, non stop and kinda get sick of it. The longest break I get is 3 months in between years, and besides that my life basically revolve around studio and design. It is in fact pretty tiring. And another thing is, the system of the school. Well not exactly the system but its just how it is. People always tends to look at the veil instead of making an effort to look whats behind it. In other words, if your presenation is freakin awesome, bang A+ to go. I just thought it is really unfair to do that, when a student put so much effort during the whole semester, only to be graded by the presentation. What the fuck? I guess like Soo said, this is the game we have to play, but its a choice we have to make, do we want to create a blind architecture, that looked pretty on a paper or can we make architecture with self intergrity? I guess this is a hard choice to make because as a student, grade is always a seductive factor. So its really fucked

And another thing that pisses me off is the people here (doesnt apply to everyone). It is just amazing what people would do to get on to the top. Stuff were copied directly from a book and just basicly every single thing that I can think off, there is just someone to piss me off. Not that it had anything to do with me, thought it did happen, but I mean it's just so unfair and its making me really sick of the people here. I guess it will be the same everywhere and there is really nothing I can do about it. I will just have to live with it. How decietful.

And there is the decision of to leave or not. Mum called the other day telling me to finish another two years. YeaH cool, I mean I dont know if I can do it really. grr...
And there come Bloc Party, almost felt like they're singing it to me
two more years... two more years..

In two more years,
my sweetheart, we will see another view
such longing for the past for such completion
What was once golden has now turned a shade of grey
I've become crueler in your presence

They say, 'be brave, there's a right way and a wrong way'
This pain won't last for ever,
this pain won't last for ever

Two more years, there's only two more years
Two more years, there's only two more years
Two more years
so hold on

You've cried enough this lifetime,
my beloved polar bear
Tears to fill a sea to drown a beacon
To start anew all over,
remove those scars from your arms
To start anew all over more enlightened

I know, my love,
this is not the only story you can tell
This pain won't last for ever,
this pain won't last for ever

Two more years...

You don't need to find answers
for questions never asked of you
You don't need to find answers

dead weights and balloons
drag me to you
dead weights and balloons
to sleep in your arms
i've become crueler since i met you
ive become rougher, this world is killing me

we cover our lies with handshakes and smiles
we try to remember our alibis
we tell lies to our parents we hide in their rooms
we bury our secrets in the garden
of course we could never make this love last
i said of course we could never make this love last
the only love we know is love for ourselves
we bury our secrets in the garden

Soo cracked up when she heard the song. Its pretty funny come to think of it.

[Music] Hard-Fi - Stars of CCTV [2005]

Album: Stars of CCTV
Band: Hard-Fi
Release Type: Standard Album 11 Tracks
Release Date: 04 July 2005
Country: UK

Beaker Favourite: Cash Machine, Middle Easstern Holiday, Tied Up Too Thight, Move On Now, Better Do Better, Stars of CCTV

I was a bit apprehensive as to what Hard-Fi's album would be like when NME made an extraodianire introduction to Hard-Fi as the "music of tomorrow". Already this year, the music industry was flooded with the rise of UK's Britpop music. To name a few, bands like Bloc Party, Maximo Park and Kaiser Chiefs were the top contenders of this year's release. While Bloc Party and Maximo Park's debut album was considerably pleasing, the later new-wave floods basicly start to sound the same (The Departure, The Others, yadda yadda). Then comes Hard-Fi. I was wondering if this album could actually revive some vibe for me. The answer is yes, it does a pretty damn good job.

Four young lads from London, their debut album, Stars of CCTV is unlike any post-punk or new-wave or whatever-you-want-to-call-it music. It's different. Its quite extraordinary that its hard to put to words. The band may come across as raw and street-tough, but they’re given away by the sophistication in their songwriting, their talent as performers and their affection for perfect extra touches.

On the album's bursting opening track “Cash Machine” maybe best sums up the Hard-Fi sound: a melodica riff, a slow-grooving dance beat, big and clearly-ringing guitar stabs on the chorus. The second and third track, Middle Eastern Holiday and Tied Up Too Tight has superb fast burn retro chorus.

Their debut single is “Hard To Beat,” an infectious but kinda dumb song about nothing more than digging on a chick (“You know I love ya, just wanna touch ya”)has the potential to be a anthem in no time. Still, it’s catchy and provides a nice no-brains-needed mid-album break before the scorching “Unnecessary Trouble" that provides a rather cathy hard-beat rythemic tunes.

Despite Stars of CCTV's fast-paced, high-energy feel, Hard-Fi prove that they can slow it down too on the sublime, and apparently the only slow song in the album, "Move on Now". That they have earned the right to do a piano ballad at this point is a testament to the strength of what has come before. Probably one of my favourite track in the album, “Move On Now,” the piano ballad in question, is a beautiful and grief portrait of love, and that is a testament to Hard-Fi’s writing talents, as well being a hint at what the future holds for the band.

11 July 2005 - Stars of CCTV was nominated for the most prestigeous music prize in Britain, The Mercury Prize Awards. Mercury Music Prize awards have set out to reward the best in British music, regardless of genre or style. An independent panel of judges (music industry experts, journalists, record company bosses and the like) selects twelve ‘Albums of The Year’, before choosing one and announcing the overall winner on the night of the Mercury Music Show.

The Shortlist Nominations for 2005 Top Albums were:

Antony And The Johnsons 'I Am A Bird Now'
Bloc Party 'Silent Alarm'
Coldplay 'X&Y'
The Go! Team 'Thunder Lightning Strike'
Hard-Fi 'Stars On CCTV'
Kaiser Chiefs 'Employment'
KT Tunstall 'Eye To The Telescope'
The Magic Numbers 'The Magic Numbers'
Maximo Park 'A Certain Trigger'
M.I.A. 'Arular'
Polar Bear 'Held On The Tips Of Fingers'
Seth Lakeman 'Kitty Jay'

The winner was announced on 6th of September and the winner is...Antony of Johnsons's I'm a Bird Now

Personal Opinion: I personaly dont think Kaiser Chiefs should be in that list. They are too overrated and their music is nothing than a mediocre pop songs. What a shitty band. The slot should've gone to Doves instead.

To sum up this album, all the tracks are equally impressive. As with so many new bands lately, Hard-Fi have produced a pretty damn good debut album that are mature and pleasing to a standard that exceeded a ordianry debut album. This album definetly one of top album of the year.

NME Rating: 9/10

Beaker Rating: 4/5

Why?

I don't know why.
I always have the tendancy to fuck things up, just every single thing that I do.
It's so irratating.
Why?

Confession of Broken Beaker.

I have a confession to make.

I hate my auntie so much that she irritates me up to a point where I want to scream at her face.

I always imagine about her when she starts yelling at me. Id imagine that I am yelling back at her at the same time and smack her head with a frying pan.

Smack the consciousness out of her.

I feel so happy when I am imagining that.

Construction and Structure 5

CnS5 can go kiss my ass. And stupid bumfuck motherfucker oldshit Brian Taggart can go to hell. Dont even bother to come back and teach. This paper is a stupid ass shit worthless paper and I am so pissed off right now its not even funny. He couldnt even teach and expect 2 assignments and a test for a freakin 1 point paper. Thats really retarded. I mean how can a fuckin arsehole lecturer expect so much from student for a 1 point paper. Fucking shit. What he teach is so fucken retarded that I doesnt even make sense.

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I HATE BRIAN TAGGART

I HATE UNIVERSITY OF AUCKLAND

I am so full of hate right now I wish Brian got hit by a bus tomorrow morning. Even wosrt I curse his family die of cancer of whatever fucken sexual tranmitted diseases. Everyone of the fucken Taggart family. I really wished that. And I also wish that UoA will burn for the good of the students. Stupid money sucker..

FUCK FUCK FUCK

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE. Some one just shoot me. Id rather die.

GOOOOOO TOOOOOOOOOOO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!

Wordplay

I cant wait for summer...


Greenday - Wake Me Up When September Ends

....here comes the rain again, falling from the stars, drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are

as my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost,wake me up when september ends....

Copeland - Don't Slow Down

....You should not be angry, If all she wants is your money
Oh, you should not be angry, 'Cause all you want is her body....

Hard-Fi - Cash Machine

I scratch a living, it ain't easy, You know it's a drag, I'm always paying, never make it, But you can't look back, I wonder if I'll ever get, To where I want to be
Better believe it
Yeah...

Stereophonics - Dakota

...wake up cold coffee and juice, remembering you, what happened to you
i wonder if well meet again, talk about us instead, talk about why did it end?....

Stereophonics - Superman

...Superman on a aeroplane, Sitting next to Lois Lane, You gotta that woman but you want her gone, So you can sleep with a teenage blonde
You wear a mask wear an armoured suit, Can't get to you with the gun I shoot
You play your cards close to your chest because ya, Poker face is a dreadry mess...

What the........................

Today, the hot sun is making me really impatient.

I was late to uni, late as I have planned,

As I walked up the hill to the bus stop,

I had an encounter with a young white kid, probably intermediate kid,

I was in his way, he was running.

He said "Fucking hell, get lost,"

Then, I looked around,

Nobody. Good.

I pulled on his heavy school bag,

I made him turn around,

I slapped him in the face,

I looked around again,

Nobody, Good.

I said, "Now get lost."

Music Update

Music watch [9th September '05]  :

Read more »

So Much for the Cultural Diversity.....

Well yeah, I dont know why and I don't know when it started but the issue with "racism" has been a huge talk around lately... to me at least.

Many people had always tought that this is a so-not-the-coffee-table-topic issue that no one should be talking about it openly. But then I couldnt help bubt to think about Jules and Soo's comment on racism, which was rather funny of course.

So of course, in cities where "Cultural Diversity" counts, there will always be racism of some sort. There, beginning of this semester, there was these ladies from the mediation department of the already-fucked-up-UoA came and gave us a talk on Racism. What she said made no sense to ME. If she wasnt introduced as a mediator by Prof. Errol, I would've thought she was making a racist remark on other ethnicity based on what she talked about.

Duh, then there was the good old Welly, I was talking to a high school mate at one of the bars at the Uni.

Cameron: How many of you are here?

Me: um 7 including me, why?

Cameron: No offense, all asians?

Me: yea..

Cameron: Did you get stares?

Me: Kinda..something wrong?

Cameron: Dude, you'll never find 7 asians walking down the street in Welly, at least not that I have noticed

Me: Yeah, I noticed.

Na, not to say Cameron is a racist, in fact, he's the most unracist guy that I've met.

Then just last night, I was talking to Soo about her bad Taxi experience,

Soo: Hey Nigel, do you think Taxi drivers are rude? I mean like from your experience

Me: (thinks)um .. Ive had some good drivers and some with attitudes, why?

Soo: Ok, so the other night I had to take a taxi home, I called for a cab and I was late about 5 mins, and the Taxi driver was mad at me. And then I dont have any cash on me so I had to ask the taxi driver to drop me off at one of the ATM so I can get cash out, when he couldve stopped right at the ATM, he stop meters aways just to make me walk, then when I got home, it says 6 dollars on the meters, so I paid him 10 dollars but he did not gave me back my 4 dollars change, so I asked for it but he said that the rate has gone up...(xxXXxxx) ... and I was like what the hell.
Me: What race is he?

Soo: (Laughs) Indian.

Me: Though so..

That question wasn't meant to come out that way but somehow it just did. Now I am not making any Racism remark here but, all my bad taxi experience had to do with an Indian driver, there was once..if you refer back to my older entries, an Indian drver was tring to rip me off, making me pay 40++ bucks instead of 30. Then there was once with Brian, when we took taxi from Upper Queen back to his place at Emily Place. The rate meters read 4 dollars (it's kinda close, but we're kinda too stoned to walk), so Brian gave in 10 bucks. Apparently, the driver said that he dont have change and insist that we should just pay him 10. Now this isnt making any sense to me. I mean it's 4 bucks for christs sake and he made us pay 10. Fuck me, its his problem not having any change(which I seriously doubt) Brian got mad and grabbed the 10 dollars bill from him and said "fuck you, give me my change or you're not going to get any money". The taxi driver told us off and kept swearin. And I couldnt understand a word he said. Should be Indian. But anyway, there were a few times that I have had bad experiences with Indian drivers.

Then there is this huge discussions in studio, mostly between Soo and me and other Julian about Koreans. Soo is actually pretty open about the stuff, so it's alright to talk about that, which I wont go much into details thatd get me into trouble, but hey I mean, fuck the cultural diversity man.

and Helen Clark, oh your such a notti mama,
Id love to see you in your sexy messed up hair..
hmm............

Roar NZ, Roar NZ.

Roar Auckland, Roar Auckland,

I love ethics differences

I love people of all colours

I love you all


Screw me, stupid bumfuck Auckland,

Whatever.

Fuck me.

Interpol Interpol and Interpol

Turn up the volume because its all about Interpol on Beaker RadiO:)

and I have 2 additional songs,
one from the American Idol mama Kelly Clarkson singin with all her emotions in "Because of You" which is, of yours kinda like every-day-cliche love song, but I just thought I need a different dose..

The second one is from the movie "Crash" the end track called "Maybe Tomorrow" by Stereophonics.

Enjoy.

Untitled

They don't judge us from the language we speak, but,
They judge us from the way we speak.

They don't judge us from the way we dress, but
They judge us from our yellow skin, brown eyes and black hair.

They called us "the fucking Asians"

P.s. This is not addressed to anyone in particular and is neither a hate post.

S.N.A.F.U. stands for Situation Normal All Fucked Up

SNAFU, a termed initiated by LTL, used to describe architecture in a fucked up state.

For me, I am real fucked up. This has been draggin on for almost two months now. My sleeping schedule. Its all fucked up.

You see, I would go to bed earliest at 3 in the morning, then wake up, again earliest at 12 noon, and latest around 4 or 5 in the evening. And I hated it. I am a night person but I hated it when I dont get enough sun. It felt sick and I have been sick for almost two months.

I tried to consult with my counselor, mediator, or whatever you want to call it and it just didnt help. He gave me nothing constructive other than sharing his god dammed pity with me, "Hey, I am really sorry about what you are going through right now, I totally understand."

Fuck me.

Give me sleeping pills at least.

Oh how I love the morning sun...

INTERPOL >> Live @ ST James, August 2

Finally, finally got everthing I needed to post the Concert up >> Interpol Live in St. James, August 2.




Waited in line around 7:30pm. I was really nervous thoug, oh you guys have no idea how I felt. It's like I'm going to piss my pants. And yes, St. James door opened at 8 as promised. Geeting in to it, was hard. Tickets were checked 3 times. Pity to those without an ID. Then, we had to wait till 8:30 for the opening act, Demi Whores. It was an aweful opening act. It was aweful. I so wished I didnt see them. At that time, St James was reasonably crowded. The stalls are full but the mezzanine level was quite empty thoug. After the opening act, we had to wait again. Interpol came on around 9:30 one by one, with Paul arriving last, lights were low, cheers were loud.



They begun with Next Exit (first track from Antics), which the sound were low, so Paul gestured the stagehand to turn the sound up.

Here are the rundowns for Auckland show:

Next Exit
Slow Hands
Narc
Say Hello to the Angels
Length of Love
Public Perverts
Not Even Jail
Hands Away
Evil
Obstacle 1
Take You on a Cruise
PDA

Encore

Untitled
Obstacle 2
Roland

The Soundcheck were as follow
Length of Love
Specialist
The New
Obstacle 2
Next Exit
P.D.A

Concert ended around 11:07p.m.




Sam broke a durm stick while he was playin Not Even Jail, and Dan did took a bow before playin Untitled. Little did they said anything the entire night. Paul said "We're Interpol from New York" and the crowd cheers.

The highlights for me were Slow Hands, Hands Away, Obstacle 1, Untitled, Obstacle 2, and Roland. There were shouts from the crowd for Specialist, and Stella, but nop the didnt play. Biggest disappointment of the night, the did not play Specialist, which was one of my fav track. And I heard that they played A Time To Be So Small in Wellington show, which is one on my favs too but some how I think this was due to that they're really new to NZ and most NZ fans know them through Antics, so I reckon side tracks like Specialist will be unfamiliar to NZ fans.

WHATS REALLY AWESOME is that the band played well enough that quite often you would find it hard to distinguish the live performance from the recorded. Every song just flows so naturally.The band was just brilliant, bringing the classiness of New York to ST James, they looked great, and playin even greater. Worth mentioning is the lighting. Its awesome too. Whoever that did the lighting really knew Interpol. The lighting flows with the rythm so effordlessly that its just awesome awesome awesome!

All in one. The concert was just F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. It's worth every penny going to the play. OH, it just take my breath away. I'm still so excited writing up this post.

Post-concert

I was proudly wearing Interpol's T-Shirt the next day down on Queen Street and several people approached me saying things like "Hey, thats an awesome gig aye" and "omg, are you there, its fuckin awesome aye". Even when I'm at Achitecture Library that cute librarian asked me if I went to the gig. It's just awesome. Its so much better going to the ball, I think.

Lost Season 2, Desperate Housewives Season 2

Good news, ABC just announced their Fall schedule
which, Lost season 2 will premier on September 21, and Desperate Housewives premiers September 25. They're all back!



Here are some ***Spoilers*** from one of Lost's writer.

At the convention, Grillo-Marxuach and his colleagues dangled a handful of clues to fans. "The plane did not crash by accident," Lindelof told the crowd. "It crashed for a very specific reason." But he dismissed speculation that someone aboard the plane caused the crash. "I will tell you today that is not the case."

He also promised, "Season 2 is gonna get weird" — though he and other writers promised the mysteries wouldn't drag on as long as "The X Files," which ran nine seasons.

Other tidbits:

What's inside the mysterious hatch will be interesting, but not as interesting as the effect it has on the John Locke character, according to Grillo-Marxuach.

The rear section of the plane — and additional survivors — will be discovered during the second season.

The people who kidnapped Walt, the young boy, are the "others" on the island.

Plane

"Plane"

Drain the veins in my head
Clean out the reds in my eyes to get by security lines
Dear x-ray machine
Pretend you don't know me so well
I wont tell if you lied
Cry, cause the droughts been brought up
Drinkin' cause you're lookin so good in your starbucks cup
I complain for the company that I keep
The windows for sleeping rearrange
And I'm nobody
Well who's laughin now

I'm leaving your town again
And I'm over the ground that you've been spinning
And I'm up in the air so baby hell yeah
Well I can see your house from here
If the plane goes down, damn
I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn

Damn, I should be so lucky
Even only 24 hours under your touch
You know I need you so much
I cannot wait to call you
And tell you that I landed somewhere
And hand you a square of the airport
And walk you through the maze of the map
That im gazing at
Gracefully unnamed and feeling guilty for the luck
And the look that you gave me
You make me somebody
Ain't nobody knows me
Not even me can see it, yet I bet I'm

I'm leaving your town again love
But I'm over the quilt that you've spinning
And I'm up in the air, so baby hell yeah
Oh honey I can see your house from here
If the plane goes down, damn
I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn

You keep me high minded
You get me high

Flax seeds, well they tear me open
And supposedly you can crawl right through me
Taste these teeth please
And undress me from these sweaters better hurry
Cause I'm keeping upward bound now
Oh maybe I'll build my house in your cloud
Here I'm tumbling for you
Stumbling through the work that I have to do
Don't mean to harm you

By leaving your town again love
But I'm over the ground that you've been spinning
But I'm up in the air, said baby hell yeah
Oh honey I can see your house from here
If the plane goes down, damn
I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn
I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn
Well I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn

Who do you
Think you are, are, are, are
To keep me so oh cold, cold
You keep me high minded
You keep me high minded

You get me high minded
You get me high

Bus on Fire

BUS ON FIRE! Lol, So I was in Ponsonby yesterday with Mr. Beeee and Mr. Spuzz, and so about 6pm I was ready to go home, and when I got on the bus (I was the only one in the bus) and man it stinks in there, smells like some rubber burning, but of course I didnt care much since I'm only going to City. Then, while the bus was moving, I heard someone shouting from the car coming in the opposite direction. That doood said "Fire Bro, Fire Bro." It was rather loud. So the bus driver stopped the bus to check whats going on. And I got out of the bus too, and duh, the back, left tyre was in flame, and thick smoke too. The bus driver called the Fire Fighters and finally they put out the fire. Lucky I wasnt burned, I was just sitting right on top where the buring tyre was. Duh. I could've burn my poor little bum..

All that I ever wanted

It has been a lonnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggg longgggggggggg time since I wrote anything serious here. And I mean SERIOUS. Well yeah, not because there isnt anything happening that worth writing about, but because, probably I am trying not to think about it, which would make me sad. Life, I'm happy to say that it has been going rather smoothly these days, of course there are obstacles but compared to what happened to me first half of this year, things are much better, well not until today, something just gotta happen to make my day bad...I recieved a text from my sis. Content as usual, money matters. I was furious. Ive been here for 3 years and everytime I asked for money, there's questions. THERE IS ALWAYS A FUCKING QUESTION!
I am so sick of it. Perhaps they didnt realize the rate is rising and that they had to send more money to me even thoug I'm using that much. I'm just so sick of it...So I texted her back, I was angry.. I sounded angry. She txted back, she was angry yadda yadda. Fine I called her, I was yelling at her, just outside Academy Cinema. The Indian lady who happened to be there must think I am paranoid.

I surrender.

I cried.

I am just human, I need to eat, I need entertainment. I am not machine. I have feelings, I have needs. I just wished that people could actually look into this perspective rather than jumping into conclusions. I am sick of it. My sis said since I was young, I have always been mama's boy. I have everything that I wanted and that makes me an immature brat. IMMATURE. I dispice that word. I knew, I have everything that I wanted since I was young, all I had to do was ask. And because of that my sis and my bro thinks that I am a spoiled kid. But what they didn't know is that I knew what think of me, and I did everything to show them that I'm not spoilt... Ever since I could remember, I have always buried my problems inside, I have always hide my weekness for I knew if I let them out, they'll think I'm immature, that I cant handle things, and that I am spoilt. But tonigh, my sis said

"You think you are mature but sometimes you just dont talk like a mature person"

That got me. It hit me. I guess they didnt know how hard is it to be out here. My bro, went to Johor, and so thats it, I dont even want to talk about him. My sis went to Kuching, and I ended up in Auckland. Not my choice thou. I was sent here. Everthing happened so fast that I dont even have time to think, and there I was, sitting on a plane, to Auckland. I dont even know my aunt that I am going to live with for Christ's sake. Well anyway, all they think was I spend money, spend money and spend money. My results meant nothing to them. I got an A+ for design and fuck they even understand just how important that is. Yeah probably they knew that its hard out there. But they have no idea how hard it is. It'd be nice if they could come here and live my life and hell they'll understand and shut up.

And whats the most shitty part, that even your family dont trust you. Hah. Cool huh. I am sick of them always saying that "OH, we trust you, but........" Fuck IT. man I mean it. Save it for someone else. Just a few more months, when I get my degree I fucking earn my money and hell I dont need to listen to their buts.

The thought of never knowing
Would kill me just the same
The solitary blossom
Reminders of a friend

Gone somewhere
You've got nothing to live for
You're travelling broken
You just can't free yourself

An' all the words we've spoken
Are buried in the sand
The ruptured and the broken
The taste of bitter glass

What are you saying
It's just the thought of rejection
It's pulling you deep in
You just can't free yourself

Your voluntary loving
Apologies have passed
I'm coming 'round again
The fragments of a reason
The taste of bitter glass


Bitter Glass, Feeder, Pushing The Senses

Down

I am plannig a revolution..oh yeah.. check back soon..

INTERPOL LIVE IN AUCKLAND!

Wellington_05> Prelude

Waiting for Fanny and Rei in studio to take AIRBUS to airport to meet up with the rest of the gang. Yahoooooooo.. Flying to Welly again! I am so excited, so excited...hmmmmmm.......

The Da Vinci Code

Congratulate me, I flunked ES, first time of my life.

Great huh, flunked my Ens, AND Judy should go to hell to. Fucking old mutha fucker fat BIATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fucking hell. 100++Hours rendering only worth such grade. Fuck you. You can fuck back to where ever and do some liposuction before you decide to teach again. Fucking fat bitch. FARKKKKKKKKKKK

New Art Work

This is my new art work, wicked huh?

Burrr...

I'm still sucked up with gettin an A+. Gosh It feels better than multiple orgasm.

D5> The answer

Hello, My name is Nigel, and guess what I got a FUCKING A+
again! hahahaha. Dont get me wrong, I'm not an A+ snob, just let me dwell in this tempporarily happiness while I can. It's the 3rd A+ that I get, and I am truly, sincerely grateful for it. It's hard really, to be able to maintain on this position. You see, out of all D5, i'm one in the 6 people who got A+, not easy aye (Congratulations to Fanny too..) you see, Fanny and I were the only two from Mike&Mike's group that got A+. Not to be arrogant, but being the top 2 in the group feels GREAT! (Fann you feel me ???)

Here's the result, thanks to Fann, Rei, and Winnie for the very detailed summary.


YOU GUYS FEEL ME??

Right, it's not good to be so sucked up by the results aye.. I shouldnt be cuz it'll always be a stress for coming designs, but for now... i'm just too happy. But I wont let grade become a stress next time. Just shouldnt. See I've got A+ for 3 design, and say what, it means that I can design. and I fucking can nail it. so screw it. Im going to do something different. Watch out for me huh for I'll kick anyones ass. But yeah, it's the best reward that I could've ask for. I've put all my time, my energy and money for this design, and I think it's worth everything. And being rewarded an A+ is more than I could ask for.

To Fanny, all I can say is congratulations man! see you did better than whatever azza.. so it's not your problem in D4. and to Winnie, A.. your just one step closer,next semester A+ will be yours. Rei my dear, go extreme with your digital stuff. LOL :) At least, we're all A's..:)

So, the results out, lets just put a period to Design 5. Thanks to Mike and Mike, to everyone's support.

Feel's like I just got a lifetime achievement awards or something. LOL


My A+ Work.


Fanny's presenting her A+ work


Rei the digital freak, and her wicked presentation

Funny I didnt have a picture of Winnie's work.

Mean Shit!

Program: 3D Max, Mental Ray Caustics



Program: 3D Max, Mental Ray Caustics



Program: 3D Max, Mental Ray Caustics Volume Light

Beaker Works Studio

I've been experimenting with 3D Max 7's Mental Ray and its freakin cool!!!!!!!

Here are sometimg that i've done over the past few days..





Does anyone wanna pay me for some wicked renderings??

2005 First Semester Sum Up > Sometimes, We Do Take a Break..

My birthday dinner @ Wagamama


Studio..


The Black Incident
(Dont get me wrong, I have nothing against black people, just some crazy stunts between me and Sajeev)


Crit Aftermath, me lyind dead in the studio, right after Design Hand in (Look at the mess....duh.. its the same every semester)

Funny Shit

"Hell, in spite of being so gross...I've got at admit it WASpleasurable."

"You liked it then?"

"Maybe...I mean, who can say 'no' during the middle of an orgasm?Jerry Falwell, maybe..."

--------------------------------------

"What about MY neighbors?"

"Fuck 'em!"

"I'd rather fuck you!"

As I Remember Him

"And if you knew him, you would understand just why. As I remember him, I cry..."

Me

Do we always ask others for reassurance?

Do we always want others to take the insecurities away?,

Selfraged motherfucker

Strange,

Thats me

Batman Begins

Gonna watch it tonight...Cool hey...mmmmmm

Epehemeral Effects >>

First of all, I'd like to say Judy, please lose some weight and stop wasting your time and students time having this paper, its just all bullshit.

Secondly, thanks to Winnie for staying at uni accompanying me with this assignment, and sorry for you loss,

Thirdly, thanks to Fanny for staying overnight for the editing of the Final Clip, without your presence, we wouldnt be able to finish this.

and then to Frances and Richie for sharing all the computers on 5th floor for net rendering. -.-"


I dont even know why I even had to stay over night for 2 days doing this shit which worths nothing. Judy is a big fat cock sucker and i dont like it. It's just a waste of time doing her paper. WASTE! and then my little encounter with the so called DESIGN 10 chick at level 3, who does she think she is. DESIGN 10?, yeah right, I bet you'll fail Design 9, Design 10 my ass. Go have a look at yourself on the mirror. Design 10, fuck you a.

And


Fuck this clip takes ages to render. If I had to render this animation on one computer, it'll take up to 58hours for first one, 32 hours for second scene, 74 hours for 3rd scene and 40++ hours for 4th scene, which adds up to total of 8++ days, IMAGINE THAT! but, thanks to fanny for working so hard finding computers for us to net render, and by the end of the night, total of 72 computers was used for net rendering, (computers from L2, L3, L4, and L5), THOUGH, we still cant beat Kristen's record of 78 computers, but see, all the renders was done in 2 or 3 hours. KOOL HEY.!

Here's some fucking cool shots from the animation that I did.

Condom Goes High Fashion

Condom goes high fashion with Burberry's 9ct gold ring condom. Selling for USD 14.95

Music That I'm Listening To

Coldplay - X & Y

Dream Theater - Octavarium

Armor For Sleep - What To Do When You're Dead

Design 5 _ Hysteria

Me explaining my work to Linzey, Davis, and some idiot guest crits and my fellow group mates

Now this is the big thing. Design 5 has come to an end this time, imagine how fast the time flies. Now I would say this semester has been a real struggle for me, and yet no one seemed to understand why. All they see is the work that I've done but do they really see the strugle that I have come to face with. D5_Hysteria has taught me alot of things, has gained me a lil bit of fame, has made me realize many things, has made me understand the awful truth about architecture school, has made me think about the being honest to myself.

I remember at the beginning I was having a serious dilemma on "drawing" and "digital". Mike Davis could not understand why I refused to use the digital medium. He encouraged me to, which I thanked him for. I believe I could use the digital media pretty well and its really a personal peference. Then I remember David saying that using Digital media is cheating.

Then I am having trouble with the functionalism, planning of the design. I have always been taught to design inside-out. Start from a plan, which is true this time but the thing is they are not resolved in many ways. Which I have tried very hard to jump out from my comfort zone and do things in random.

But to quote Davis, "Just keep making things if you dont know what you are doing, it will come together eventually."

I do agree with him. That is why, my productivity this semester is way higher than last semester. The reason is because I dont know what I was doing and I had to keep doing things. But in the end, the pieces start to come together and form a big picture.

I cannot be totally sure if I have totally understand the Diagram theory because what they taught is pretty much the same as what we were taught, its just that diagram is a bit more straight forward and random, i guess, i dont know. But this is a good test. Davis has encouraged me to go the radical way of design, which I have never done before. I have always been interested in radical designs but to able to do it is a hard task. I cant say my design this time is totally and purely radical toughts but there are certain things and concepts that I would consider radical. Perhaps I could go extereme next time, perhaps not. I dont know but really Im glad that I have explored the radical side rather than having doing the same thing every semester.

One thing that Im amazingly pleased with my design this time is that I actually made a model myself. And everyone thought it was a cool model, well except for Andre, but its something that I dont usually do and Im happy that I nailed it this time. Muahahah


Tough,

To be honest there is a big self disappoinment to this semester's work (I mean my own work). I guess I rushed myself towards final way too early. I cant deny that Grade is a seductive factor but I guess the reason why I rushed has to do with self arrogance, I think. The more the tutors dispice drawings, the more grand I want it to look. Yeah, arrogance. the Digital media is good in a way that it is convinient, productive, and easy to use. But drawing in the other hand is something that is totally different. It is a craft, it may not be as productive, but drawings are just amazingly beautiful. and It looked so much so much better than computer renderings regardless how good the rendering is, its just not to be compared to a crafted drawing. That is why this time, rather that having a humble presentation, Ive decided to go big. Just because of arrogance. But I guess most of the people were impressed with the big huge presentation that the failed to see the weakness in my presentation. I guess James saw it, but its just that he never said to me. David saw it and we had a discussion, Sajeev did notice the imperfection too. I mean.. not many people who sees it but those who sees see. (If you know what i mean). I wouldnt point out the inprefection in the presentation but that imperfection has made me think a lot, i mean A LOT and I think it will strongly affect what style I'll go next semester. But still, I will have to wait and see what I get this time before I know the answer. The grade this time is important for me to find out someting, about this whole thing. I wouldnt mind if I dont get an A+ this time, because Ive had enough compliment that I know what Ive achieved, but what grade I get this time will help me to find out the truth.

I need the truth.

I guess I shall put a period for now, but I will keep on posting my thoughts on this semester. There are too many things to talk about.


My model that I'm proud of ^^

One Month

My last post was dated back to 10th May 2005. It has been almost one month since I last blogged. In this one month my life's like a rollercoaster. Been a great one month. Always the hardest month everytime of the year, but always the most enjoyable month of the year. Being able to be really busy, keeping up with time makes me actually feel good. A lot of things happened in this one month that I wanted to tell but I dont know if I can remember every single details but this month has been awful, but great.

Now that Design's over, everything seemed to slow down a lil although there are still heaps of works to be done, exam coming soon. Now I am sitting here once a agin updating my blog. This one month, of being me, taught me alot of things, A LOT OF THINGS. which is great. I cant say that I have grown up alot, but certainly I have gained a lot from this one month period. Working on design this semester was a struggle, but it was a worth while lesson. Having to know people more in my year is a bonus, but most of all... it is a moment that I will treasure for the rest of my life (whatever).

But yeah..... my futures a mist. I could only do my best now..

oh by the way.....

FUCK STAGECOACH. FUCK YOU! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

The hardest is yet to come, before it ends..

Well been a week now since I last blogged anything. I have many things to blog but dont seemed to have time to do sO. Life is hectic, getting more and more distubing these days. It always seemed like around this time of the year, life is harder than it seems. The time moves constanly and yet I find myself running along side trying to catch up. Tryin to run parallel with time is such a hard thing to do. I get tired easily. I am not a machine. I wish I was. About 20 days till design final, and yet there are so many things to be done. I wish I wasnt that ambitious, then it wouldnt be killing me. But I set myself a trap. I am being too greedy and now I am paying for my greed. I want it to be perfect and yet every year, every semester I ended up upsetting myself for not completing the task. Design it is an never ending process, I understand, but to draw a period dot during crit day is the end of a stage, which I believe is a very significant stage in desing. So an enormous amout of work shall be put to it. BUT. the time is the biggest enemy. Time, Time, Time! Competing with time is what we all do. But then, I was the one who will always be defeated.

Loser.

Everyone is going hardout on design, so rock on till crit day.

What is wrong with the World Today

I thought I should write this but I wonder if I can tell this story in writing and do it justice. Right, yesterday when I was on my way home (on the bus of course), I witness a bloody fight. A white kid (um HIgh School kid I presume) was beaten by a maori kid, just right infront of Westfield Takapuna, when my bus stoped to pick up passangers. The white kid was trying to get on the bus when the maori kid behind him pulled his backpack and start to push him and punch him. Then yeah the fight started. The maori kid kept beating the white kid, and the white kid just let him do it without fighting back, for some reason (not that he is not strong enough to give him a punch back).. but yeah, it was horrible. A lady who just got on the bus was screaming when the fight started. He tried to get off the bus to, help the white kind i guess, but his boyfriend somehow stopped her. Then the bus driver, a strong maori man too, tried to separate those two, he did, for a while, when he thought it was over, and when the white kid thought he finally could get on the bus and go home, then the maori kid pulled his back pack again and punched him. They went as far to the middle of the road. People who was eating in Burger King came out to see the fight. People was getting serious about this. The bus driver actually got off the bus again and punched the maori kid several times. Hah! good one. Then some one was yelling "Call the police, call the police please," and yeah some one did, and two policemen came, and the maori kid finally let go and walked tried to walk away but the police chased after him. The white kid was bruised pretty bad. It was aaweful, his nose was bleeding, and his face was bruised everywhere, his backpack was teared apart. Now I dont know who is wrong in this situation, but my sympathy goes to the white kid. I was pretty freaked out tho, not often I get to see this kind of fight, well yeah sometimes down at Queen Street, but its no biggie, but this one, its pretty horrible. The maori kid was pretty violent... gEEZzz.. what is wrong with the world today man.

When the war is over, got to get away
Pack my bags to no place, in no time, no day
You and I we used each other's shoulder
Still so young but somehow so much older
How can I go home and not get blown away?

......when the war is over...